FUCKING SAXOPHONE HOUSE!
Back when we were teenagers (the 90s), me and VIRUS used to make jokes about “SAXOPHONE HOUSE”. It was a phrase we coined to describe cheesy house tracks that are usually no more than some percussion loops (and maybe a bassline) with either a saxophonist soloing over the entire track OR a bad synth sax usually repeating an uncreative, uncatchy melody. Synth Sax’s ALWAYS SOUND HORRIBLE!
Their were so many tunes like this in the 90s that it really should have become a subgenre of house. Now here’s the incredibly sad thing: Saxophone house has never gone away. Infact, 15 to 20 tracks that I would describe as Saxophone House are released on labels EVERY MONTH! Don’t believe me? Here’s proof…
Last month, I compiled a list of every Saxophone House track I came across. They all fit the description above and all share in common that they FUCKING SUCK! Here’s the list, complete with audio samples (care of JUNO RECORDS) so you can hear what I mean.
Alexandra Stan – “Mr Saxo Beat”
A lot of these tracks are made by artists with stupid, unimaginative names, like the following…
Digital Deep Music – “Sax In The Sun Dub”
Digital Deep Music??? That’s your name?!?! Anyways, most of them have really shitty COVER ART like this…
There are entire EPs of Sax House…
Ruben Rivas/Miss Ilda – Saxophonic EP
Man Ro feat Uncle Ivan – Saxman EP
Lots of them use the word “sax” in place of another word that kinda sounds like sax (usually “sex”) to create a clever pun. Hahahahohu*cough**hack*…
Joey Negro presents Akabu – “Sax My Bitch Up”
Others create a new word by awkwardly jamming “sax” into it…
And then there’s those with titles that just don’t make any sense…
Christian Falero & Villa Verde – “Deep In My Sax” (Gabriel & Castellon remix)
Walter Benedetti – “Be Sax” (Le Vele original mix)
Be Sax? What the fuck does that mean?!?!
Count ‘em up. Thats 18 tracks from the past month. Most of this shit sounds like it was made in the 80s, but nope, these are the brand new, upfront jams!
My biggest question is, who listens to this shit??? Wait! I know exactly who listens to this shit. EPIC SAX GUY…
Now, I don’t want anyone thinking that I have anything against the Saxophone. It’s the sexiest instrument in any Ska band, and there are plenty of good uses of sax in electronic music. A while ago I posted the STAR EYES & JUBILEE REMIX OF SEX SAX. And then , ofcourse, there’s DESTINATION CALABRIA, which has one of the hottest music video’s ever! Just cuz there’s a sax in it, doesn’t necessarily make it Sax House, for the record.
I will likely do another Saxophone House update in the near future. If there’s any consellation, atleast it’s funny as hell. Saxophone House continues to make me and Virus LOL heartily after all this time.
ahahaha
i have an unfinished track kicking around somewhere called “the ultimate sax track” ill send it to you if i ever get it to a listenable condition
Hahahaaa. I want that track, homie.
[...] like I did with my FUCKING SAXOPHONE HOUSE post, I think I will compile a list of Realm Tracks as I hear them, and post them up when I feel I [...]
[...] 4. FUCKING SAXOPHONE HOUSE! [...]